Every death reminds me of you. It’s been 6 years. Why can’t I get over it? I miss you! We need you! I’m sorry I wasn’t more help, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you more. I should’ve never ever let you alone. Please Lord and keep her in heaven until we meet again there. I really hope you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior so that we may meet again. Why did I spend all my time doing other things and be there for people who didn’t care when you were right there!?!? I’m sorry!!! I’m sorry! You shouldn’t have left so soon! I miss you! Please wait for me ♥️

Dear Father in heaven

I’m sorry that I haven’t come to you in such a long time. I often feel so very lonely. I listen to so many worries and feelings, yet no one listens to me. I thought I was alone. Today I realized that I am never alone. I’m yours and you promised to always be with us, I’m so very sorry that I had forgotten that. Here on earth my dad never hugged me and said everything will me alright. Or took me on his lap and held me tight. I might’ve never had that, but today I felt your arms around me when I gave up. Thank you! I had never felt so close to you before! Thank you for reminding me! Also I try to care so much for others and forget about me, but I know if I don’t care about myself too, soon my body will give in. So I’ll start caring for my skin, exercising, eating healthy and mental health too. Thank you father for never letting me alone. Thank you! Amen.

We’re laying here, your arm wrapped around me. I hear your breathing and I feel you close. I feel how your body longs for mine. I long for you too!

My mind is going crazy, I want you to turn me around grab me tight and kiss me. I can feel the passion there would be in that kiss… We haven’t kissed in such a very very long time. I feel how you’d grab me tight and not let go, how’d you take control. I can hear how you used to whisper in my ear and drive me crazy, but…

Now, all I do is long for you. How are we so prideful? I can feel how your breathing is becoming slower again and I know soon you’ll fall asleep. I will too, but with tears in my eyes.

What goes through your mind? Why don’t you tell me? Wouldn’t it be easier just being honest? How are we both so prideful? Its not healthy and yet we don’t talk about it. How do we stop this? Is there anything that we can do? Is it too late to try? Or why did we stop trying? We even stopped excusing ourselves for it… I love you but don’t know how to show it anymore… Honestly I don’t even know how to receive it. Why can’t I open my mouth to tell you how I feel? I don’t know…

I miss how we used to dream together. I miss how you used to take me into your arms and held me tight. I miss how you used to tell me how beautiful I was. I miss how we used to talk for hours and hours. Our conversations made my day. They made me cry and laugh. I miss dreaming about us two. I miss the way we used to dream about our future together and how we said nothing could take away the happiness… I miss how I used to long for you and how I loved you…

I miss you… Can’t we go back to dancing and cuddling? Make up after we fight? Enjoy moments together and not keep secrets? Can’t we go back to telling each other how we feel? Before its all to late? I love you… But I don’t know how to feel it or show it anymore… I miss showing you that I miss you… I miss feeling happy, getting mad or even crying…

When did it all change? Will it change again? I miss you… My heart longs for yours and I know that yours long for me? What’s stopping us from breaking the wall? Come back, or maybe not? I don’t know… My heart is in pain, how do you sleep so peaceful without a care in the world? Good night…