Baby, how do you not realize how lonely I am? Yes, you hurt me! Yes, I feel like crying! Yes, I want you! I’m down. So please show me you care. Hug me, kiss me. Show me you need and want me. Don’t stay silent after you say I’m sorry. I’m hurt and it would be so great if you showed me that you care! Show me what you feel, please don’t stay quiet and leave me like this. Hours of not sleeping. Please grab me. Please tell me how much you love me. Why do you leave me so alone? Hug me. Kiss me. I long for you!!! Listen to my heart scream for yours! Yes, you hurt me. Yes, I feel bad. So please why do you just lay there after saying sorry!?!? Why don’t you put your arm around me and tell me how much you care? Why don’t you tell me what I need to hear? You know I long for you! You know I’m sad!! I feel so bad every time I tell you I long for you. It makes me feel horrible having to tell you, that I want you to long for me. Everyone all my life has told me how great I look, how they wanted me, but I wanted nothing to do with it. Now I found someone I love and wanna share everything with, why don’t you? I long for you to take me, to embarrass me. You do tell me often that you want me, that you think I look good. Why don’t you prove it to me? It breaks me each time I have to tell you, that I want to be desired, hugged, kissed or loved. But yet after hurting me, you expect me to show you how much I care. And I’m here crying for you to show me you care…

When I was a kid, only 12 years old, I almost lost my mom. My mom was pregnant and one night she simply had started bleeding. She didn’t know. She was sleeping. My dad woke up because he felt something wet touch him and when he noticed what it was, he jumped out of the bed. The bed was soaked in blood. He tried waking my mom, but she was too drowsy already. I remember him caring my mom into the car and called my grandparents and told me they’d soon be there. He left me and my three younger siblings at home. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but I knew it couldn’t be good. It didn’t take long and my grandparents arrived. I remember the next day in the morning my dad called. I remember it so clearly and it happened 11 years ago. He called and said the bag where my sister had been in explored and that most likely my sister wasn’t gonna make it. It broke me. Which was worse was when he called and said my mom was in critical room and that the doctors said there was no hope for her. I couldn’t believe what I heard. I remember running outside and just cry. I cried and prayed. Over and over again. I didn’t and couldn’t lose my mom. We just couldn’t. I remember my younger sisters didn’t know what was wrong with me… they didn’t understand the pain I was in. The doctors said the heart machine was still on, but she barely had blood left and they’d have to give her more. But even if they did so, there was really no chance she’d make it. My aunts even already had permission to enter the room, because there was really not a lot left to do. After two hours they were able to find her blood type and bring it. The doctors said they’d put it in her, because they’d finish there job. As the finished my mom woke up! A woman in the next room had had the same thing and they brought her body out without life. I can’t imagine the pain… My mom waking up simple meant God sent a miracle. Later she told us the experience she had been in. She heard all the people around her. She had understood everything but she hadn’t been able to move a single finger which had terrified her. She had been so scared. She even recognized the voices, but then everything had disappeared. Suddenly all of it was gone. The pain, memories, everything. She said she saw a long bright white light. Whiter then anything she had ever seen, but then they woke her up. God almost took her home, but I’m so thankful that he let her stay with us for a while. We still have her and I love her so very much! Thank you God, for my mother! Thank you for still letting miracles happen, even though we do not deserve them! I love you! And my baby sister is now 10 years old!

I’m laying in bed beside my sleeping husband. Why do I feel so sad each time I see or hear something about a wedding? My husband and I met when we were 10. We went to school together and he was always the perfect student. I had a hard life so it was a bit different for me in high school. We always joked and teased around and he was my best friend. Our class made a trip to the beach and that changed everything. It was amazing. The trip I had always dreamed of. Honestly perfect. When we were there, he wrote me poems. Played a song for me, he held my hand and told me the nicest thing anyone could of told me. We got back, time passed and life drew as apart. Years later, we meet again. We have all these amazing memories from our childhood (we are now 23 years old) we talked about that. We laughed. We often remembered the best things. We clicked and got married. 3 months after getting married, he told me something that broke my past. I loved him for a lot of things we shared and more… but he ripped that away. He told me the trip was fun. He hadn’t meant anything. He has never felt all of those things he had always said. He did it to try and take away a memory he had from someone else. It destroyed me. Next day he told me he didnt mean all the things he said yesterday and he tried to change the story 5 times… I can’t handle stories from our past… it hurts me thinking about it. He doesn’t talk about them anymore, but every time I see videos or movies about love, it feels like he betrayed me. I love him and he does me. But it’s hard to accept the past.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton